Did you know that the method of non-violent communication (NVC) can improve emotional intelligence?

• Studies and research show that participants who have been trained in non-violent communication are better able to understand and respond not only to their own feelings, but also to the feelings of others.

• Non-violent communication therefore leads to better conflict resolution skills and stronger relationships.

• Applying the principles of non-violent communication in the workplace optimises understanding and leads to a more harmonious working environment.

What is non-violent communication?

Non-violent communication (NVC) is a communication method that was developed in the 1970s by the American psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg.

It promotes clarity and empathy in discussions by aiming to achieve non-judgemental and respectful communication. The method makes it possible to have more productive conversations by focussing on mutual understanding and respect.

NVC consists of four central components: observations, feelings, needs and requests, usually referred to as the OFNR model.

This model helps people to express themselves clearly and authentically and to resolve conflicts effectively. The following basic principles lie behind the four terms.

1. Observation: A clear description of a situation without judgement or interpretation. It relates to what you actually see or hear, rather than judgements or criticisms.

2. Feelings: Expression of one’s own feelings as triggered by the observation. This involves talking about personal feelings rather than apportioning blame or offering diagnoses of others. Statements in the first person are the focus here.

3. Needs: Recognising and specifying the needs or values behind the feelings. This self-awareness is central to understanding what you really need, rather than demanding or expecting others to guess what those needs are.

4. Request: Formulation of a concrete action that can be delivered in the present. A request is made relating to what the other person can do to bring about an improvement, although care must be taken to ensure that the request is not a hidden demand.

And what does this mean in practice?

Application of the principles of non-violent communication in a professional context

Example: Imagine a team leader criticises one of your project reports in a team meeting. The team leader says abruptly and in front of all your colleagues: “This report is poorly structured and incomplete.” You probably feel exposed.

If you are concerned about the situation, it makes sense to talk to your team leader afterwards. You can also do this a day later, allowing you time to reflect on the events and address them with a certain degree of distance. In the conversation to clear the air, you can use the principles of non-violent communication (NVC) to address the situation professionally:

• Observation: Begin by describing what happened without judgement or interpretation. “I noticed that you described my report as ‘poorly structured and incomplete’ during the team meeting.”

• Feelings: Now express your own feelings without apportioning any blame: “When I heard that, I felt insecure and hurt.”

• Needs: Then explain the needs that underlie your feelings. “It’s important to me that I receive feedback in a way that helps me to improve rather than public criticism.”

• Request: Finally, formulate a concrete, deliverable request. “I would really appreciate it if we could discuss any feedback in private going forward. I will then be able to understand where I can improve without airing it all in front of the whole team.”

By taking this approach, you avoid criticising the team leader. Instead, you explain how you perceived things and how you think similar situations can be handled better in the future. You therefore remain professional and constructive and increase the likelihood that your needs will be considered in the future.

At the same time: non-violent communication is not a sure-fire success! The communication method requires training and sensitivity, as the four principles demand good powers of observation and self-reflection.

It is therefore advisable never to communicate impulsively or under the influence of strong emotions.

Non-violent communication - how not to go about it

Negative example: Imagine that you confront your manager immediately after the team meeting in which you were criticised. You angrily state: “I find your criticism of my report in front of everyone unfair and unprofessional! You are always putting me down in front of the team and that’s disrespectful!” In the moment, you feel angry and unfairly treated and you are not communicating your feelings and needs clearly and constructively.

• Observations are mixed with accusations and interpretations. You are accusing the team leader of malicious intent and poor leadership without describing the specific situation in neutral terms.

• Feelings are not formulated as personal impressions but as an attack against the team leader, which can provoke defensive reactions.

• Needs are not stated clearly but remain hidden behind the accusations and allegations.

• Requests for change or constructive feedback are not expressed. Instead, accusations and confrontation dominate the conversation, which exacerbates the situation rather than improving it.

The result: you respond to the previous unprofessional behaviour of your team leader just as unprofessionally. This leads to a further escalation of the conflict instead of a resolution.

Communicate with due consideration and follow the principles of non-violent communication. You can also encourage your managers and supervisors to promote the implementation of non-violent communication in the workplace. There are plenty of trainers and workshops on the topic.

Are you looking for a suitable venue for training courses and workshops? The conference rooms of Office Club across Germany are furnished to a high standard, fully equipped and offer space for larger workshops and meetings with up to 20 people. Click here to book.

These arguments will help you to substantiate the value of the method:

Non-violent communication in the workplace leads to...

1. Improvement in cooperation: A comprehensive study in the healthcare sector confirms that non-violent communication significantly improves relationships among healthcare staff. It not only promotes a more pleasant working atmosphere, but also important social skills such as teamwork and leadership qualities.

2. Reduction in workplace conflicts: In the tech industry, where people often communicate quickly and under pressure, non-violent communication can help to reduce misunderstandings and conflicts. Here you can find out more about the way in which non-violent communication helps to reach a consensus through mediation – rather than a compromise – by focussing on the needs of both parties, leading to more effective solutions.

3. Increase in employee retention: By using non-violent communication, misunderstandings and conflicts can be addressed effectively, which improves morale and the atmosphere in the team. This approach promotes a culture of empathy and active listening, which in turn increases employee loyalty and motivation.

These examples show how non-violent communication can contribute to improving the working atmosphere and to effective conflict resolution.

Conclusion: Implementing NVC in the workplace not only promotes a positive working atmosphere, but also improves general productivity and employee satisfaction. By enabling every employee to communicate their needs in a constructive way, a culture of appreciation and respect is created.